Tuesday, August 1, 2017

Do You Really Have to Treasure Each Moment?

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As parents, we've all heard statements like these...

"Enjoy your kids now because you'll never get these days back."

"They'll never be this little again."

"Treasure each day with your child."

It seems that I always run across one of those blog posts or memes on days when I haven't had too many good mommy moments.  Days when I'm literally counting down the minutes until bedtime and simultaneously dreading the usual bedtime battle.  Days when the kids weren't the only ones yelling around our house.  Days when I wish I was done with diapers or potty training for good.

Do You Really Have to Treasure Each Moment?

Thanks for making me feel guilty for having "wasted" another day with my kids that I'll never get back.

The truth is that it's impossible to live every single day to the fullest and to enjoy every single moment, especially with kids whose moods and behaviors can really throw a wrench in your plans.  Honestly, some days are flat out awful and, when it's all said and done, you're just glad it's over.

Seriously...treasure every moment?!?  Just for fun, here are 10 moments with my kids that I do NOT treasure.
  • Putting my 3 year old back in his bed for the 18th time.
  • Changing a blowout diaper/poonami.
  • Cleaning permanent marker off of my 4 year old.
  • Listening to my 9 year old scream about how unfair life is.
  • Potty training...need I say more?
  • Slathering ointment on my 3 year old's severe eczema that covers him from head to toe while he screams and cries because it burns like crazy for a good 10 minutes after I put it on.
  • Trying to buckle my angry octopus...I mean toddler into their carseat when I'm already late for an appointment.
  • Holding my child down for a blood draw or treatment that I know will hurt them.
  • Helping my 7 year old with homework when he would rather fight an angry shark than do it. 
  • Making my kids clean up their rooms when they're all in bad moods.
But here's the thing.  Tomorrow is a brand new day and a new start.  You won't have a perfect day everyday and that's okay.  That's normal.

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Yes, I know that I will miss this someday.  But I also know that I will be glad that I don't have to change poopy diapers or catch vomit in my bare hands.

My take on the whole "savor every moment" thing is this...don't rush through each stage of life eager to get to the next.  When you're able, stop to "smell the roses" with your child and see things through their eyes.  You'll gain a new appreciation for life and treasure these moments forever.  But don't beat yourself up if you have a day (or 2, or 8, or 17) that doesn't live up to your expectations.  Parenting is HARD and you don't need to add guilt onto your already overflowing plate. You are a great mom and kids need to see that even Mom isn't perfect.

So please stop telling me and other parents to enjoy every moment.  That's impossible.  We're doing the best we can but we simply cannot treasure every. single. moment.

If you see a parent struggling to make it through the day let alone enjoy it, try encouraging them with a smile or a reassurance that tomorrow will be better, or at least different.

Moms, pay attention to the good moments in parenting and hang onto those memories when things get rough.  Write them down (here's a neat book where you can do that) and re-read them when all you want to do is hide in your closet with a big box of chocolates.
Do you really have to treasure each moment with your kids? http://bit.ly/2uRxC8d

How do you feel when someone tells you to treasure every moment with your kids?

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